1 Timothy 3:4-5 | Men, Pastor Your Household Well By Faith In The Gospel | Pastor John Cole
Sermon Summary: This sermon explores the biblical mandate for men to lead their households with godly authority, emphasizing the importance of pastoral leadership within the family as a reflection of God's good rule. Pastor John discusses how this leadership should balance requiring obedience with earning and giving respect, all grounded in faith in the gospel. He argues that this model of family leadership is not only beneficial for the home but also crucial for the health of the church and society at large.
Key Points:
- God's design includes human multiplication and representative authority
- Men are called to pastor their households well, reflecting God's good rule
- Effective leadership balances requiring obedience with earning and giving respect
- Children should be in submission with all dignity and gravity
- Pastoring the household well is a prerequisite for pastoring the church
- This model of leadership reflects the order, unity, and humility of God
- The gospel provides the foundation and power for godly leadership
Scripture Reference:
- 1 Timothy 3:1-5 (primary text)
- Titus 1:6
- Colossians 3:21
- Ephesians 6:4
- Various Proverbs on child-rearing
---HANDOUT---
1 Timothy 3:1-5; Genesis 1:27-28
SERMON IN A SENTENCE: Men are to reflect God’s good rule by how they pastor their households well by faith in the gospel.
GOD GIVES OUR WORLD BEAUTIFUL REFLECTIONS OF HIS GOOD, AUTHORITATIVE RULE.
•Christ to the Father (entirely; voluntarily; perfectly)
•Church to Christ (entirely; voluntarily and enabled; imperfectly)
•Church Members to Their Pastors (limited; voluntarily; imperfectly)
•Wife to Her Husband (limited; voluntarily; imperfectly)
•Children to Their Father and Mother (limited; voluntarily and non-voluntarily; imperfectly)
•Citizens to Their Government (limited; voluntarily and non-voluntarily; imperfectly)
•Employees to Their Employers (limited; voluntarily and non-voluntarily; imperfectly)
MEN ARE RESPONSIBLE TO PASTOR AND OVERSEE THEIR HOUSEHOLDS WELL.
1 Timothy 3:4–5
4 One that ruleth [leads with authority] well [in a good and right way] his own house [all people and operations of the home], having his children in subjection [submitted, in control, and obedient*] with all gravity; [behavior that earns and gives respect**] 5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
*Titus 1:6 gives a parallel requirement that a pastor have faithful children who cannot rightly be accused of reckless, wild living and insubordinate behavior. The Greek word for “faithful” children there is further qualified by the rest of the sentence without being separated by “and,” which is not in the Greek. No father is responsible or able to produce the new birth of his children, just as he cannot produce the new birth in people who gather with the church. He is responsible to lead his household well while they are under his leadership in the same way he would share in the pastoral leadership of his local church.
**1 Timothy 2:2 translates the same Greek word for “gravity” as “honesty.” The word means to have dignified behavior that earns and gives respect.
Lead your household (and business operations) well with the authority God has given you.
If your household includes children, leading well is further described as having them in proper submission to your authority—with all dignity.
1) Requiring obedience without earning and giving respect provokes discouragement, distrust, and anger.
Colossians 3:21; Ephesians 6:4
2) Trying to earn and give respect without requiring obedience is a selfish way to deprive your child of the security, wisdom, God-given order, and training he or she needs.
Proverbs 19:18; 22:6; 29:17
3) Both submission and behavior that earns and gives genuine respect are necessary to reflect to our children both God and our proper response to Him.
Deuteronomy 8:5-7
A man who does not pastor his household well will not pastor Christ’s church well.
MEN PASTORING AND OVERSEEING THEIR HOUSEHOLDS WELL IS GOOD.
• For Children
• For Marriage and Families
• For the Church
• For Society
• For the World
• To the Glory of God
---SMALL GROUP GUIDE---
Opening Prayer
Key Takeaways:
1. God's design includes human multiplication and representative authority.
2. Men are called to reflect God's good rule by pastoring their households well.
3. Leading a household involves both requiring obedience and earning/giving respect.
4. How a man leads his household is indicative of how he would lead in the church.
5. Godly fatherhood is a reflection of God's fatherhood.
Discussion Questions:
1. How does our culture's view of fatherhood and male leadership differ from the biblical perspective presented in the sermon?
2. The sermon mentions "having children in subjection with all gravity." What do you think this means in practical terms? How can fathers balance discipline with dignity?
3. How can single men or those without children still apply the principles of godly leadership in their lives?
4. The sermon emphasizes both requiring obedience and earning/giving respect. Why are both elements important? What might happen if one is neglected?
5. How does a father's leadership in the home reflect God's relationship with His children?
6. What challenges do you face (or anticipate facing) in pastoring your household well? How can we support each other in this calling?
7. How can we promote and honor God's design for families even if our own family situations don't perfectly align with it?
Practical Applications:
1. For fathers: Reflect on your leadership style at home. Are you balancing authority with earning and giving respect? Identify one area for improvement this week.
2. For all: Consider how you can support and encourage the fathers and male leaders in your life. Plan a specific action to do so.
3. Spend time in prayer, asking God to help you reflect His character in your relationships and responsibilities.
4. If you're struggling with the concept of authority or submission, study Jesus' relationship with the Father as a model.
5. For those without children: Identify ways you can invest in the next generation through mentoring or serving in children's/youth ministries.
6. Evaluate your priorities. Are you giving appropriate time and energy to pastoring your household (or preparing to do so in the future)?
Closing Prayer:
Thank God for His perfect fatherhood and ask for His grace and wisdom in reflecting His character in our homes and relationships.